Do You Work With Someone Vile Like Lucius Malfoy?A very old friend (aka "Lassie" for the duration of this entry) contacted me about working with a very toxic coworker; herafter referred to, appropriately, as "Ms. SucksAlot" (a devil of a woman whom we have both worked with, historically, and both of us feel certain she has retractable fangs since she is nice sometimes and utterly deviant and wicked at other times).
When I worked with Ms. SucksAlot, she would tell me politely that the boss wanted something done but after I completed that task, the boss would deny ever having wanted it done. Inevitably, Ms. SucksAlot would also deny having ever told me to tackle it . . . setting me up for a fall.
How did I cope? I began to request that Ms. SucksAlot put everything in writing (before I'd attempt to ever follow her suggestions again). She would regularly protest my extra safeguards but she couldn't get anything done without adhering to my "rules." (My Cackling Hag personality won out.) Oddly enough, Ms. SucksAlot would also berate me and other coworkers publicly and then, after the meeting, attempt to retrieve a full-body 'hug' in effort to get back on our good-side. (I ask you: who wants to hug someone so vile?)
My very old friend, Lassie, continues to work with Ms. SucksAlot -- even hugs her on occasion. She has never risen above her demeaning irregular emotional predator behavior. Unlike Idgie (famous in"Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistle Stop Cafe,' a book and subsequent movie by Fannie Flagg) who yells "Towanda," any time she needs to call upon the assertive, warrior-like alter ego that Idgie created to empower herself . . . Lassie has serious issues with being self assertive. She desperately needs Cackling Hag lessons!
Therefore I now offer my old friend the following suggestions.
FIRST: Realize that nobody is going to just voluntarily ask: "What is it Lassie? What is it Girl?" (when my very old friend does not even bark to to get attention). Lassie needs to realize that by NOT voicing her opinion, and by not speaking her mind, it is assumed she simply defends the status quo and agrees with it.
WITH THAT REALITY SETTLING IN . . . HERE ARE SOME OTHER POINTS TO PONDER!
When I worked with Ms. SucksAlot, she would tell me politely that the boss wanted something done but after I completed that task, the boss would deny ever having wanted it done. Inevitably, Ms. SucksAlot would also deny having ever told me to tackle it . . . setting me up for a fall.
How did I cope? I began to request that Ms. SucksAlot put everything in writing (before I'd attempt to ever follow her suggestions again). She would regularly protest my extra safeguards but she couldn't get anything done without adhering to my "rules." (My Cackling Hag personality won out.) Oddly enough, Ms. SucksAlot would also berate me and other coworkers publicly and then, after the meeting, attempt to retrieve a full-body 'hug' in effort to get back on our good-side. (I ask you: who wants to hug someone so vile?)
My very old friend, Lassie, continues to work with Ms. SucksAlot -- even hugs her on occasion. She has never risen above her demeaning irregular emotional predator behavior. Unlike Idgie (famous in"Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistle Stop Cafe,' a book and subsequent movie by Fannie Flagg) who yells "Towanda," any time she needs to call upon the assertive, warrior-like alter ego that Idgie created to empower herself . . . Lassie has serious issues with being self assertive. She desperately needs Cackling Hag lessons!
Therefore I now offer my old friend the following suggestions.
FIRST: Realize that nobody is going to just voluntarily ask: "What is it Lassie? What is it Girl?" (when my very old friend does not even bark to to get attention). Lassie needs to realize that by NOT voicing her opinion, and by not speaking her mind, it is assumed she simply defends the status quo and agrees with it.
WITH THAT REALITY SETTLING IN . . . HERE ARE SOME OTHER POINTS TO PONDER!
- Since Ms. SucksAlot's desk is positioned directly behind my very old friend's: Lassie could repeatedly throw salt over her shoulder (making sure the granules land on Ms. SucksAlot's desk). Salt, as you know, dispells all sorts of negative energy.
- Lassie could begin wearing earphones while she works . . . she could then listen to The Angry Rock Band Chicks From Mars and feel embraced by the understanding anger in the music.
- Instead of loathing the feeling that she works in an insane asylum, Lassie could instead embrace the environment and begin to cackle, regularly and loudly, throughout the day for no apparent reason. [That might earn her a free ticket OUT of there -- so I suggest she also begin looking for a new job.]
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